I really should just change my website to keep track of the lack of consistency in the meting of punishment when it comes to dirty hits. This time around, we get a noob to the dirty hit pool in Marian Hossa.
Where have I seen a hit like that before…
So what’s the difference here? Well, Alex Ovechkin was suspended for two games for his hit and Marian Hossa gets to keep on playing since he’s never done something like this before. Wait, sorry, that’s the reason I’m assigning to him. The master of the Wheel of Justice himself, Colin Campbell, had something different to say:
“I have made the decision that this play does not warrant supplemental discipline after considering all of the facts, including reviewing the video and speaking with Mr. Hossa. This play is distinguishable from recent incidents by a number of factors, including the degree of contact involved; the fact that the consequences of the play do not appear to be as severe; that this was a hockey play involving a race for the puck; that Mr. Hossa is not a repeat offender and that the call of a major penalty by the Referee was significant and appropriate.”
Smell that? Yup, that’s the barn yard so let’s pull a Mike Rowe and go Dirty Jobs on analyzing this steaming pile of poo.
This play is distinguishable from recent incidents by a number of factors, including the degree of contact involved
I know what you’re all going to say, it’s exactly like the Ovechkin hit and I’m going to put my foot down and say that it’s not. There, now it’s the Gospel According to Colie. If I can call Matt Cooke’s hit on Marc Savard a shoulder instead of an elbow, I can tell you that if you compare this hit to Ovechkin’s on Brian Campbell you must be some kind of jerk. Sure they’re both a push from behind that helped the player crunch himself into the boards and get hurt, but that’s where it ends. Hey, at least it didn’t happen on an icing play. Suck it.
The fact that the consequences of the play do not appear to be as severe
Dan Hamhuis didn’t go get hurt for 6 weeks like that big pussy Campbell, therefore I get to be thoroughly inconsistent and make all you armchair geniuses get your Cheetos stained undies in a knot. By judging this hit based on the lack of severe outcome, whereas with other plays that are as dirty or less so that result in serious injuries, I can make a total mockery of the system every time I say that we don’t dole out suspensions based on the outcome and do so instead based on the act.
That this was a hockey play involving a race for the puck; that Mr. Hossa is not a repeat offender and that the call of a major penalty by the Referee was significant and appropriate.
Races for the puck are OK, except on icing. That’s the new rule, bitches! Also, Hossa being a first timer means a get-out-of-scrutiny free pass for Ol’ Soupy! Also, the referee’s did put the guy in the box for five minutes, what else do you want? You want him tossed from the game? Pssh, nonsense. How else were we to twist the knife in the Nashville fanbase by having him score the game winning goal in OT? Don’t worry though, next time he hits someone like that again maybe we’ll suspend him. If we feel like it. Or if the officials don’t kick him out of the game and give Ol’ Soupy another free pass! Woooooo!
Pictured: A poor excuse for a sock puppet. Also, Scooter from “The Muppet Show”
I didn’t expect there to be any suspension for Hossa at all. Campbell’s total lack of consistency and his (and the league’s apparent help) with allowing guys who are first-timers to get away with one “oops” moment, especially if they’re stars, has become all too transparent. I know it and Greg Wyshynski at Puck Daddy knew it would be like this too and so did numerous others. Just because we’ve gotten wise to the game and sheer nonsense that goes into the NHL offices ability to make the waters as murky as possible when figuring these things out doesn’t make it any better.
The glaring lack of consistency as well as the underlying message that’s delivered when first-time offenders get the proverbial slap on the wrist from Ol’ Soupy for pulling off a scummy play is frustrating and yet still entirely too predictable. I know most fans were stunned just to see Marian Hossa deliver a hit of any kind but the fact that it turned into a lightning rod of controversy shouldn’t be all that stunning.
All that aside, my problem here, like always, is the extreme lack of consistency shown by the league regarding these things. I guess it’s what helps my Wheel of Justice become more popular, for which I am semi-thankful, but I wouldn’t feel too bad if it ended up being a product of a bygone era. Until that day comes, spin away you crazy wheel.